Is It Ever Too Early to Focus on Emotional Well-Being?

Conversations about self-compassion and emotional well-being have become prominent in recent years. More than ever, people are discussing the significance of self-care and maintaining healthy relationships with oneself and others. At what age should we begin cultivating these qualities? Adolescence? Childhood? Infancy?

Self-Doubt Starts Young, and Social-Emotional Development Does Too

Mattel recently collaborated with OnePoll to investigate self-worth in young children by surveying 2,000 parents of kids aged 2 to 10. The findings were astounding. According to these parents, children begin to doubt themselves on average before age 6. This is particularly concerning because self-concept often accumulates over time, developing throughout life. Our self-worth in early childhood predicts our self-worth later in childhood, which in turn affects our self-perception in adolescence, and so forth (Bırni and Eryılmaz, 2024).

Enter Barney, the singing, dancing dinosaur who taught early ’90s kids to love one another, share, and tidy up their toys. Corinne Eggleston, the manager of early childhood development research at the Fisher-Price Play Lab, shares, “He’s making a comeback.” I spoke with her to better understand the evolution of social-emotional health in young children and how parents can support this process.

In a new episode of Barney’s World, “I Love Me Too,” Barney’s friend Baby Bop loses her glow, a metaphor for good feelings. She regains her glow when she remembers the things she loves about herself, realizing that her glow is her self-love. The episode concludes with the characters singing about what they appreciate about themselves.

“Barney helps kids explore those significant preschool emotions they are experiencing appropriately,” Eggleston says, “and shows them how to love others and care for their community. Right now, there’s a growing emphasis on teaching preschoolers and young children how to love themselves.”

Why Does Self-Love Matter?

Self-compassion nurtures resilience. Dr. Eggleston shares that children with a healthy sense of self are more likely to acknowledge mistakes and seek help. It enhances emotion regulation (Inwood and Ferrari, 2018).

A strong sense of self equips us to face challenges without giving up or becoming overwhelmed by negativity. Self-kindness empowers us to pursue our dreams even in the face of obstacles. When encountering stressful situations, self-compassionate individuals are more likely to utilize productive coping strategies, such as re-evaluating those circumstances or problem-solving (Allen and Leary, 2010). They are less inclined to give up.

For children, this could lead to enhanced well-being, improved relationships, and positive outcomes later in life.

How Can Parents Help?

Eggleston notes that parents and guardians are often their children’s closest allies. She suggests three primary strategies for helping children build their self-esteem:

1. Affirmations. Using positive mantras is one strategy that can bolster children’s self-esteem. A study on teaching identity-based affirmations to young people found that this can protect against declines in self-worth later in life (Hoffman and Schacter, 2024). It’s important to ensure that affirmations are realistic and do not involve comparisons—for instance, saying, “I am doing my best.” Repeating mantras that are less grounded, like “I am the best person on the planet,” would not be so helpful. We want to strengthen values that the child can act on each day.

2. Kind Words. Very young children often take to heart the words spoken about them without questioning them. Whether they hear kind or harsh words, kids internalize them. A 27-year longitudinal study found that the family environment in early childhood predicted self-esteem into adulthood (Orth, 2018). Eggleston encourages parents to be mindful of their language, both when speaking to their children and when talking to others.

3. Modeling. Children frequently mimic what they observe in the adults around them. Modeling healthy habits like positive self-talk and taking care of their own needs is one of the most effective ways for parents to inspire these traits in their children. By caring for their own well-being, parents can also place themselves in the best possible position to care for their children and manage the incredible tasks of parenting.

Closing

Social-emotional development begins in the earliest stages of life. Through being mindful of the words we use with children and modeling self-compassion ourselves, we can help children succeed in their quest for social and emotional well-being.